As some may have guessed from my original post, I have several ideas I’d like to share. I’ve been working on these on-off since about when the game came out. Didn’t want to overload the OP so I decided to simply post as a reply instead. Please mods don’t be mad I made a double post 
{ITEM NAME} The Squirrel
{TYPE} Shield
{MFC} Anshin
{RED TEXT} I WANT MY COOKIES!!
{ELEMENTS} None or Cryo resist only (Extra Fuzzy Squirrel).
{EFFECTS} Low capacity and recharge rate. 0 recharge delay. When not full but not depleted increase movement speed by 40%. When depleted, regen 10% of health over 5 seconds.
{DESCRIPTION} The name and red text are a reference to Hammy the squirrel from the film ‘Over The Hedge’ (2006). This shield is meant for players that like to play in the thick of it, taking constant damage in exchange for a massive speed boost. However it comes with the cost of being a very flimsy shield that is slow to recharge, meaning that if you stop moving you will probably die.
{ITEM NAME} Suck-O-Matic
{TYPE} Rocket Launcher
{MFC} Torgue
{RED TEXT} In case Suck-O-Matic sucks instructions, see page 101.
{ELEMENTS} Shock only
{EFFECTS} Fires a laser-beam-like projectile that will create a super singularity effect with a massive range (player unaffected) and dealing low shock DOT (IE. a super Quasar with low DOT). After about 4 seconds it will explode dealing massive damage. Single shot. Consumes 5 ammo per shot. Long reload time.
{DESCRIPTION} The name and red text are a reference to ‘Rocko’s Modern Life’. In case you were wondering, page 101 simply says “PREPARE TO DIE”. The weapon barrel will have a similar look to the Suck-O-Matic from the episode, even sporting googely eyes on top.
{ITEM NAME} Wedding Ring
{WEAPON} Pistol
{MFC} Dahl
{RED TEXT} Bullets are temporary. Diamonds are forever. (SPECIAL SILVER TEXT: 400 carat)
{ELEMENTS} None
{EFFECTS} When being held with a full magazine, ignore damage that would have put you into FFYL and instead regen 100% of your health and shields instantly then gain 3 seconds of complete invincibility. Triggering this weapon’s effect will drain the entire magazine.
{DESCRIPTION} Only available at level 50 and will only drop in TVHM/Mayhem 3. Fully automatic with no mode swap. Fixed parts, 100% Dahl. No accessories or scopes. Damage/fire rate slightly below a purple rarity perfect Dahl pistol. 99 accuracy. 400 round magazine size (IE. you can trigger the effect exactly twice before needing to collect more ammo). 10 second reload time that is immune to any reload speed buffs and special effects such as Omniloader. Diamond skin. Sells for $1,000,000 at vending machine. This weapon may be anointed, but only in 3 special anointments:
1- Proposal (When held, increase Luck by 10%.)
2- Flawless (After a kill, reflect all damage for 5 seconds.)
3- Disco Ball (During reload, emit an aura consisting of all elements.) *A reference to a Fragtrap capstone skill in TPS.
{ITEM NAME} Vile Purge
{TYPE} Assault Rifle
{MFC} COV
{RED TEXT} Get down with the sickness.
{ELEMENTS} Corrosive only
{EFFECTS} Shoots a stream of corrosive goo that will cause corrosive damage and create acid puddles. Very low impact damage but very high corrosive damage and melt chance. Enemies affected by this weapon will leave behind acid puddles and on death explode into a corrosive cloud. Special but long (about 5 seconds) repair animation where the player’s character will vomit on the weapon and emit a corrosive aura.
{DESCRIPTION} The name and effects are a reference to the killer The Plague from the game ‘Dead By Daylight’. The red text is a reference to the song “Down With The Sickness” by the band Disturbed. The weapon will be green with a visible corrosive cloud surrounding it.
{ITEM NAME} Inside Trader
{TYPE} Sniper Rifle
{MFC} Hyperion
{RED TEXT} Wait… that’s illegal.
{ELEMENTS} Any or none.
{EFFECTS} Two fire modes, BUY and SELL. When in BUY mode, firing will absorb the enemy and charge the weapon. When in SELL mode, firing will shoot the absorbed enemy at high velocity. This will damage both enemies proportional to the strength of the enemy absorbed. Critical hits cause the the target enemy to ragdoll (the “fired” enemy will always ragdoll when hitting another enemy). If the absorbed enemy dies on impact, it will explode and deal splash damage (elemental if applicable). Firing in BUY mode when charged will exchange the absorbed enemy for the new one, or cause the absorbed enemy to simply land at the point of impact with no other effects other than a stagger animation (no damage). Firing in SELL mode when not charged will fire ammo (no sniper, RL, or grenades) and money at the cost of causing damage to the player.
{DESCRIPTION} Basically this weapon uses enemies as bullets. You suck them in with BUY and fire them with SELL. The weapon will not work against bosses, sub-bosses, anointed, or badasses. Using fast travel will discharge the weapon. This weapon does not need to reload but will use sniper rifle ammo with each firing (either mode, charged or uncharged). The red text is a reference to the Halo machinima series ‘Red VS Blue’ (which is also a meme), to the fact that insider trading is illegal, and to the fact that using your enemies as bullets is just very unusual.
{ITEM NAME} Kitten Kannon
{TYPE} Shotgun
{MFC} Torgue
{RED TEXT} THEY’RE SO F***ING ADORABLE!!!
{ELEMENTS} None
{EFFECTS} Fires kittens that will land on the ground and follow the player around. The kittens will attack any enemy that damages the player, jumping on them, latching on (doing tic damage for a short time), then exploding. Consumes 4 ammo per shot. Maximum of 4 kittens at any time (shooting the gun a 5th time will make the oldest kitten explode).
{DESCRIPTION} A shotgun that shoots adorable kittens. Yes they will meow and purr and hiss (hissing only to signal they have aggro’d to an enemy). The player can also pet the kittens like they can Fl4k’s pets which will make them to seek out and aggro an enemy, regardless if they attacked the player or not.
{ITEM NAME} Bird Blaster
{TYPE} Pistol
{MFC} Jakobs
{RED TEXT} Do a barrel roll!
{ELEMENTS} Fire only.
{EFFECTS} Fires a super fast moving red laser beam that will ricochet off surfaces until it hits an enemy. Has very small explosive splash radius. Direct hits will stun lock enemies. Critical hits will ricochet like other Jakobs weapons and if it was a direct critical hit the ricochets will stun lock the next enemy too (along with the initial enemy). Below average fire rate for Jakobs pistols.
{DESCRIPTION} The name and red text are a reference to Nintendo’s ‘Star Fox’ series. The name specifically refers to Falco, while the red text is a famous line from the game said by Peppy. The stun lock effect is a reference to Falco’s character in the Super Smash Brothers series, as his blaster will stun lock the enemy very briefly, unlike Fox’s blaster which only does damage and does not stun lock.
{ITEM NAME} Godhammer
{TYPE} SMG
{MFC} Maliwan
{RED TEXT} Whosoever holds this gun, if they be worthy, shall possess the power of the Gods.
{ELEMENTS} Shock only.
{EFFECTS} Fires an electric arc that can hit multiple enemies at once and will arc shock damage to nearby enemies not directly targeted by the player. Consumes 4 ammo per shot with high fire rate. High damage even for shock SMG. Limited range. Very high recoil. Increases shock resistance and prevents electrocution while being held. Weapon will cease to function if the player’s cash drops below the purchase price of the weapon (IE. you are not worthy). Special hammer attachment that acts like the standard bayonet attachment (boosts melee damage) but will slightly increase melee range.
{DESCRIPTION} The name, red text, and special effect are all references to Marvel’s Thor character. When first equipped the character will say the line “I am mighty”, also a reference to Thor. Purchase price of the weapon at level 50 is exactly $14,000,605 which is a reference to the number of possible futures Dr. Strange saw in ‘Avenger’s Infinity War’ (2018). This weapon has a charge time similar to standard Maliwan SMGs.
{ITEM NAME} The Maggot
{TYPE} Assault Rifle
{MFC} Vladof
{RED TEXT} If you’re 5-5-5 then I’m sic sic sic.
{ELEMENTS} Radiation only
{EFFECTS} Shooting enemies confuses and enrages them. Stats slightly superior to any standard purple rarity Vladof AR. When equipped will cause the player to see the game in grey-scale where enemies are highlighted bright red. When held movement speed increased by 8% and the player’s character will constantly scream as if being burned.
{DESCRIPTION} The name and red text are both references to the band Slipknot (maggot is the term used to describe their fan base; the red text is a quote from their song ‘Heretic Anthem’). No mode swap. The grey-scale special effect is also a reference to the band, specifically the late bassist Paul Grey, whom their entire 5th album was written about and dedicated to. The other special effects are reference to the musical style of the band being super aggressive and angry heavy metal.
{ITEM NAME} Counter Striker
{TYPE} Grenade
{MFC} Atlas
{RED TEXT} We gonna draxx them sklounst.
{ELEMENTS} Any except radiation. Always spawns with an element.
{EFFECTS} When throw it creates a bubble barrier shield that will reflect and boost incoming damage, adding elemental effects in the process. Shield duration is about 5 seconds, and shield capacity is relatively low compare to actual shields (IE. it can withstand enough damage to buy the player some time but it will not be nearly as effective as Zane’s shield ability or an actual shield). The player’s bullets will not penetrate the shield however they will also not be reflected.
{DESCRIPTION} The name is a reference to the video game ‘Counter Strike’. The red text is a reference to a Key & Peele skit ‘Prepared for Terries’. Both references are about terrorism. The special effect of the weapon is a reference to protecting oneself from terrorists. It does not come in radiation because the use of nuclear weapons is abhorred by nearly all nations of the world.
{ITEM NAME} Jock Itch
{TYPE} Shotgun
{MFC} Tediore
{RED TEXT} NERDS!!!
{ELEMENTS} Fire only
{EFFECTS} 100% ignite chance. Average DOT but extended duration. Enemies set on fire by this weapon will create fire puddles that can set other enemies on fire. When thrown the weapon will grow legs and run around frantically, taking aggro from enemies.
{DESCRIPTION} Name and effect are a reference to jock itch, a fungal infection athlete’s tend to get in the groin area. The red text is a reference to the movie ‘Revenge Of The Nerds’ (1984), as they pulled a prank on the football team by soaking their jock straps in a substance that causes chemical burns (a sensation that one could compare to actual jock itch). The effect of the weapon when thrown represents a bully chasing a nerd.
{ITEM NAME} Mystery Box
{TYPE} Sniper Rifle
{MFC} Dahl
{RED TEXT} A gun is a gun, but the mystery box could be anything. It could even be a gun!
{ELEMENTS} n/a
{EFFECTS} Each time the weapon is reloaded it will take on the effects of a random legendary weapon. Not all legendary effects will be allowed due to compatibility issues (eg. no Tediore reload effects, no secondary mode swap effects, no RL effects). Actual stats may vary depending on which effect is active. The crosshair will also change, which can given an indication of which effect may be active.
{DESCRIPTION} Name and red text are a reference to a ‘Family Guy’ episode where Peter choose to take a mystery box instead of a new boat (later realized to be a very poor decision). This is meant to be a novelty weapon, not a weapon that you would seriously use (though I’m sure someone out there could find a meta for it).
{ITEM NAME} Good Cop/Bad Cop*
{TYPE} Pistol
{MFC} Atlas
{RED TEXT} Give me a liter of cola./I want a damn liter of cola.
{ELEMENTS} Shock/Radiation
{EFFECTS} Hitting an enemy with the tracker dart will cause any damage done to the player to be shared with that enemy. Good Cop has 1:1 damage and a long tracker dart duration. Bad Cop has 3:1 damage (IE. triple damage) but has a third the tracker duration. Tracking dart also functions identically to standard Atlas pistols (bullet homing effect). Higher than average stats for an Atlas pistol.
{DESCRIPTION} Name is a reference to a common police tactic in which during an interrogation one cop will try to get the suspect to talk through sympathy and the other cop will try to get the suspect to talk through intimidation. Red texts are references to the movie ‘Super Troopers’ (2001), specifically the scene where Farva tries to order from a fast food restaurant.
*Same weapon that comes in two variants, similar to King’s/Queen’s Call or Moxxi’s Good/Bad Touch.
{ITEM NAME} Pickle’s Revenge
{TYPE} SMG
{MFC} Hyperion
{RED TEXT} How you like them pickles?
{ELEMENTS} None or Cryo only
{EFFECTS} Exact clone of The Bitch with greatly superior stats. When held and not attacking (firing, melee, action skill, grenade, slide, ground slam) SIGNIFICANTLY decreases the range at which enemies will aggro the player (IE. you have to almost touch them to aggro them). Sub-bosses, Targets Of Opportunity/Legendary Hunts/Rare Enemies, and bosses are immune to the anti-aggro effect. Voice module that will say Pickle’s lines from TPS non-stop.
{DESCRIPTION} Yep, he’s back! This is sort of joke weapon. It’s a much better version of The Bitch to make it super valuable as a weapon, but the catch is you have to listen to Pickle’s voice the entire time you are using it. Basically a test in patience. The secondary effect is a sort of joke about the character, how people would rather ignore him or pretend he doesn’t exist (or maybe that he is so annoying the enemies don’t even want to deal with you). The red text is reference to the movie ‘Good Will Hunting’ (1997) in which Will one-ups another guy he had a bit of an altercation with by getting the phone number of the girl this guy was trying to swoon. Only comes in Cryo as reference to the element first appearing in TPS where Pickle’s also first appears. The weapon skin will prominently feature Pickle’s face and it will appear over top any custom weapon skins the player uses.
{ITEM NAME} Lobotimizer
{TYPE} Assault Rifle
{MFC} Atlas
{RED TEXT} Too rock or not too rock?
{ELEMENTS} None
{EFFECTS} Only 1 fire mode. Special crosshair that will auto-lock on enemies. Fires a slow moving projectile that will home in on an enemy’s crit spot. When it hits the enemy, it will drill into the crit spot causing high tic damage and then explode. The drill animation will be around 5 seconds and during this time the enemy will be stun locked. Sub-bosses, bosses, and anointed are immune to the stun lock effect.
{DESCRIPTION} This weapon is basically a clone of the Cerebral Bore from the ‘Turok’ series. The red text is a play on words (too rock/Turok) combined with a famous William Shakespeare quote (“To be or not to be?”). In order to lock-on to an enemy the player will need to keep the crosshair over them for about 2 seconds. Single shot but the drill tic damage and explosion damage will be high enough to make it comparable to high grade Atlas AR’s. Meant to be a “fire and forget” type of weapon.
{ITEM NAME} Dredded One
{TYPE} Pistol
{MFC} Torgue
{RED TEXT} I am the law.
{ELEMENTS} Always All
{EFFECTS} Near instant mode swap (no animation needed). Triple the standard Torgue pistol the magazine. Has 7 different modes:
1- Ballistic; fires standard kinetic round bursts similar to Dahl pistols, consumes 3 ammo per shot.
2- Incendiary; fires a slow moving arc projectile that splits into multiple flare-type projectiles with high ignite chance but low impact damage, consumes 5 ammo per shot.
3- Stun; fires 2 taser projectiles with electric arc between them, shock can arc to nearby enemies, projectiles will move apart horizontally as they travel (similar to Cutsman), slight charge time, cost 2 ammo per shot.
4- Armor Piercing; corrosive high damage sniper-like round, medium charge time, greatly increased accuracy, cost 6 ammo per shot.
5- High EX; fires shotgun-like spread of multiple explosive rounds similar to Torgue shotguns, spread is a set pattern similar to Nagata grenade, very high recoil, cost 7 ammo per shot.
6- Slow Mo; rapid fire mode with cryo rounds, initial hit causes stagger animation, consumes 1 ammo per shot.
7- Hot Shot; fires sticky projectile that emits a radiation aura, mild impact damage, low fire rate, consumes 4 ammo per shot.
{DESCRIPTION} The name and red text are a reference to ‘Judge Dredd’ series. The red text is a common phrase said by Dredd himself. The special effects mimic the Lawgiver firearm seen in the series (#1-5 have been seen in both comics and films, #7 has only been seen in the films). Slow Mo #6 is a reference to the film ‘Dredd’ (2012) in which the drug made by the bad guys is called slow mo. Fire rates and ammo consumption vary based on firing mode, and more powerful modes cost more ammo. This gun’s appearance will resemble the weapon from the series as well. Possible to come in x2 shot multiplier, Double Whammy Dredded One (instead of Double Penetrating), which is a reference to the film ‘Judge Dredd’ (1996) in which Double Whammy was one of the fire mode options (Stun #3 is similar to the actual Double Whammy seen in the film).
{ITEM NAME} Dodgeball
{TYPE} Pistol
{MFC} Tediore
{RED TEXT} If you can dodge a gun, you can dodge a dodgeball.
{ELEMENTS} Any
{EFFECTS} Can be reloaded on a full clip. Full auto. Slow reload speed and very high accuracy for a Tediore pistol. Super fast travel speed (comparable to the Fastball grenade). Will bounce off surfaces and only explode on contact with an enemy. Very high explosive damage on hit. Has a noticable reload start up animation during which enemies will jump out of the way the same as they do for throw grenades.
{DESCRIPTION} A Tediore pistol that doesn’t need to be fired to be thrown at the enemy. The red text is a reference to the film ‘Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story’ (2004). Basically a pistol version of the Fastball with added bouncing effect. During the reload start up animation the character will sometimes scream “DODGE!”. This is a reference to the ‘Dragonball Z Abridged’ parody series on Youtube. The reload startup is meant to mimic how one might wind-up and wait a moment to throw an actual dodgeball.