The Cult of Ted

Greasy_Broccoli · April 14, 2015, 1:39am

Here is where we gather to talk about our lord Dr. Ted. We talk about things our lord has done to make this world better, more fit for living. Dr. Ted takes on many forms, but he is all the same. You can join us. You can rejoice in the presence of Ted, Let him flow through you. While you may think that you know Ted best, just remember a Quote directly from our lord:

I am here to lead you towards a better path towards Ted. His research is greater than we are. His breath is the air we breathe. If you want to join, you must show us your love for Ted. Tell us how he has saved your life, made you a stronger man/woman. Embrace the love of Ted with open arms.

Dr. Ted is love. Dr. Ted is life.

Cult motto:
"Better Ted than not dead

Your Leader:

Dr. " @Greasy_Broccoli " Ted

Cult Lead Song writer:

farsight37

Cult High ranking members:

P_Anarchist

truetomapd

FlamesForAll

KrewlraiN

Kitty_Jo

Gearbox Employee Members:

Joekgbx

Cult Normal members:

HandsomeJack

Gigan

Rock114

GoldenPaladin

InGen_Nate_Kenny

SirScrubbington

Duck_Hunt

Lottii-lu

JordaaNpopee

This cult has a weapon to use against its enemies. It was forged by our friend, @P_Anarchist .

Cult Songs (All by: Farsight37)

It’s a whole ‘nother dayHe’s back up in ya
Doc T-E-single-D
He representa
‘Been away forever, but you all know
He’s still Teddy stylin’ in Hallow
Got Ned locked down
Sewed up
And if you plan on comin’ out, doctor hold up
This a check up
Neck up
They got yo’ meds on the shelf, yo his is too
And guess where they gon’ trek up
?Some doctaz think they know they medsBut they don’tSome M-D’s escapeSome won’tBumpin’ heads with doctaz
Where he from?
West Hallow’s End, docta, H-1
The Ted-man just got licensed
Now he got more dough with them med vendor prices
Tellin’ me ‘bout the zombies and Doc Ned crisis
But he’ll make that out late
‘Cause docta, he got vices
Doctaz try’na get in, to get ou
tPut me up on game, tellin’ me who gon’ heal me
But ever since
He was a student’Till he got licensed
He never had no other doc pullin’ on his chrome

Say Ted’s upside ya head
Said Ted’s upside ya head
Say Ted’s upside ya head
Said Ted’s upside ya head
Say Ted’s upside ya head
Said Ted’s upside ya head
Say Ted’s upside ya head
Said Ted’s upside ya head

Y’all know me, still the same ol’ T
But I been low key
Hated on by most these doctaz
With no heads, no deals and no meds, no wheels and not Ted
No homes, no instant heals, and no Zeds
Mad at me 'causeI can finally afford to provide my family with anti-Ned
Got a place with a beat up lab and it’s all full of vials
To add to the wall full of smiles
Hanging up in the office of my practice for the not-dead
But y’all think I’m gonna let ‘em go like Ned
Unfed
You better bow down to me, Ted
Who you think taught you how to drink red
Who you think brought you the new meds
Dr. Zeds, Bahas and Knoxxes, and undead Doc Neds
And the group that said motherlove the undead
Gave you a case full of blown headsTo bump when you stroll through the Cove
And when your health bar wasn’t a treasure trove
Who’s the doc that they told you to go get?
Y’all better listen up, I said
All you doctaz that said I turned back
Or that the Firm’s wackY’all are the reason Ted ain’t gettin’ no sleep
So screw y’all, all y’all
If y’all don’t like me, stab me
Y’all gonna keep messing around with me
And turn me back to the old me

Nowadays everybody wants to talk, like they got something to be said
But nothin’ comes out when they move they lips, just a bunch of gibberish
And motherlovers act like they forgot about Ted
Nowadays everybody wants to talk, like they got something to be said
But nothin’ comes out when they move they lips, just a bunch of gibberish
And motherlovers act like they forgot about Ted

We’re no strangers to fearYou’ve all been shot, and so has TedA filled up health bar’s what he’s thinking hereYou wouldn’t get this from any other ZedTed just wants to tell you how he’s healingGotta make you good to go

Never gonna give you painNever gonna let you hurtNever gonna overcharge and desert youNever gonna make you cryNever gonna say "go die"Never gonna sell a lie, or kill you

We’ve known each other, not so longYour body’s aching butYou’ve no meds to save itInside just Ted knows what’s been going onHealing you’s the game, because Ted craves itAnd if you ask Ted how he’s feelingDon’t tell him you’re too blind to see

Never gonna give you painNever gonna let you hurtNever gonna overcharge and desert youNever gonna make you cryNever gonna say "go die"Never gonna sell a lie, or kill you

Never gonna give you painNever gonna let you hurtNever gonna overcharge and desert youNever gonna make you cryNever gonna say "go die"Never gonna sell a lie, or kill you

Never gonna give, never gonna give (give you pain)Never gonna give, never gonna give (give you pain)

We’ve known each other, not so longYour body’s aching butYou’ve no meds to save itInside just Ted knows what’s been going onHealing’s the game, because Ted craves it

Ted just wants to tell you how’s he’s healingGotta make you good to go!

Never gonna give you painNever gonna let you hurtNever gonna overcharge and desert youNever gonna make you cryNever gonna say "go die"Never gonna sell a lie, or kill you

Never gonna give you painNever gonna let you hurtNever gonna overcharge and desert youNever gonna make you cryNever gonna say "go die"Never gonna sell a lie, or kill you

Never gonna give you painNever gonna let you hurtNever gonna overcharge and desert youNever gonna make you cryNever gonna say "go die"Never gonna sell a lie, or kill you

Our Goals (suggest them):

Get Awsome meeting Place: $0/$35,400,000

Get that statue of Ted: $0/$2,200,000

Threads and links dedicated to Ted

FlamesForAll · April 14, 2015, 1:51am

Im in!

But, like a shiny, deadly, fast Vladof weapon, I am ready to start the Patriot’s Anarchist Revolution at the drop of a hat!

Lead well Ted/Zed/Ned!

Greasy_Broccoli · April 14, 2015, 1:54am

You have chosen the path of enlightenment, your choice will not betray you.

truetomapd · April 14, 2015, 1:56am

This could get out of hand, but i’m an optimist here. I honestly hope that a Gearbox Moderator sees any of these threads and we can officially launch this campaign.

Greasy_Broccoli · April 14, 2015, 1:56am

Everyone past this post has to state their love for Dr. Ted before Joining now. We cant let no believers in.

FlamesForAll · April 14, 2015, 1:59am

You know, this coukd even be a religious type deal.

The Holy Trinity of Ted / Zed / Ned.

Amen.

sign of the Vault

eridium communion

Greasy_Broccoli · April 14, 2015, 2:01am

Before we know it people are going to be dressing up to go to Dr. Ted church on sunday morning.

FlamesForAll · April 14, 2015, 2:02am

Big, wide brimmed Heads and dressy Shields.

Greasy_Broccoli · April 14, 2015, 2:08am

Its time for me to spread the word about Ted. Also tell your friends.

P_Anarchist · April 14, 2015, 2:29am

Been there, done that (look at my name)

Greasy_Broccoli · April 14, 2015, 7:32pm

We can have Ted meetings on Tuesday and Saturday. I actually don’t know what days, but we could do it on those days.

KrewlraiN · April 14, 2015, 8:56pm

pokes thread with a stick

Greasy_Broccoli · April 14, 2015, 8:59pm

Would you join our cult? I can feel the power of Ted inside you, but we just need to awaken it.

KrewlraiN · April 14, 2015, 9:01pm

Who is this “Ted?” How did he get inside my head?

Greasy_Broccoli · April 14, 2015, 9:02pm

Ted is in everyone, but not everyone has a connection good with him. We here at the Ted cult are here to spread the word of Ted.

ebabcock31 · April 14, 2015, 9:05pm

Why are you obsessed with an unseen character just wondering?

Greasy_Broccoli · April 14, 2015, 9:07pm

Because i was born into Dr. Ted. Molded by him. When i was born, Ted took me in. Showed me his ways, taught me to live. I am returning the favor. Also cause he is a Doctor.

KrewlraiN · April 14, 2015, 9:07pm

That must be the power of this “Ted”. Once he is inside your head, there is NO ESCAPE!

Hrm… kinda like Hyperion Malware… WHYYYYYYYYYYYYY I DONT WANT THAT CRAPPY SPACESUIT SHTOOOOP

Greasy_Broccoli · April 14, 2015, 9:12pm

Im not sure if that is a Yes, no, let me think about it, or a let me think about it but never say yes or no.

Adabiviak · April 14, 2015, 10:12pm

Does this mean we can get slag powers by swallowing an eridium fragment?